Karissa's Testimony: Why I don't watch nudity or porn on TV | Feminism

More often than not, people are shocked or annoyed when they find out I am a feminist. They have many questions, and statements to make. They ultimately however, get annoyed. For the most part this annoyance stems from the "what about men?" argument. I would like to begin this post by stating that feminism is JUST as much about men as women. Now, to carry on. A lot of what I am about to write, I am somewhat embarrassed about. I'd even go as far as to say I am ashamed, but the intellectual person within me knows that many of my mistakes were cause by societal pressures, and lack of knowledge. My first realization that I was a feminist, was when I was forced to look at myself for what I had become. I had become an image-obsessed, self-obsessed, exercise fanatic that slept with more men than I care to admit. I hated myself, and exuded massive self-confidence to hide my self-esteem issues. I thought at that point in my life, that all knowledge, all intellect, everything I had learnt- didn't matter. That the ONLY thing that mattered now was how attractive I was, and whether or not men liked me. I tried to fill my self-love bank with attention from males. There comes a point in adulthood, where you realise you aren't being true to yourself, and you either change it- or stay that way forever (or for a much longer time). Habits ARE hard to change. I stayed how I was somewhat, but changed how I viewed and portrayed myself. But I noticed something, even though I respected myself, men didn't. I still got sexual remarks daily. I still got harassed on the street. So I started covering myself more, I started hiding my cleavage. Yet again, it didn't seem to matter what I wore or what I looked like. The simple fact that I was a woman, seemed to give "some" men that idea that they could say or do whatever they liked to me. I decided that I didn't like the way men & women treated me and I hated my lack of value in myself. I wanted to change. This is when my life took a turn. I was in an abusive relationship at the time I realized this, and I started standing up for myself. I didn't tolerate getting hit, or abused like I used to. I started to realise, true love, true compassion doesn't exist alongside violence. I left my partner. He continued to harass me, and even tried to kill me. But instead of going back to him out of fear like I normally did, I contacted a women's shelter and I called the police. He went to jail for one of the biggest cases of domestic violence my town had ever seen. I had a lot of soul searching to do in my newly accounted free time. I decided, I didn't like being mistreated JUST because I was a woman. I didn't need to appease to ANY societal pressures. I had to take a deep look at myself and my morality and decide what I thought was right or wrong on my own. I decided that the portrayal of men and woman on TV was unfair. Female nudity was widespread in nearly every single TV programme, music video and movie- yet there was almost NO male nudity. I had to ask myself why that was? HALF of the population are women. And the majority of women are straight, So why, on earth, was there only sexual preferencing for straight males? I dug deeper, and found that men not only were the majority of leaders in the music, porn, movie and tv industry but in fact HARDLY ANY women at all worked in top roles in those professions. This was a large-scale sexism. I decided morally I couldn't just ignore it. Not only was it degrading towards women, forcing us to be perceived as attractive sex-objects- but it was personally offensive. Why should I have to sit and watch females nude and seductive on TV, but my male partner not have to deal with the same jealousy and self-esteem issues that arise for me. I started asking my male friends and ex-partners if they would be comfortable if movies/TV/music had penises in everything. If naked, strong, muscley, fit men were in every TV show fully naked acting seductively towards the camera. They ALL told me that not only they would be uncomfortable because they were straight, but also would worry their partner might find the other men more attractive than them. They stated it would lower their self-esteem and trust in the relationship, and every single one said they would not be happy with their partner or wife watching material like that. With these questions, with these thoughts, I realised. Its not just women who ask for equality. Its men. We can't expect women to be degraded in society and in the media, and not have repercussions. There is more sexual assault, rape and harassment these days than any other time before. 1 in 3 women have been RAPED in their lifetime. Even more have been assaulted or harassed. My household is a sexist-free household. My kids don't watch biased TV (or TV at all to be fair). I am slowly changing my life, and in many other ways I have not mentioned here (I will outline that some other time). But I highly recommend standing up for yourself. Men and women alike. Stand up and value women. Respect women, and let's cut the abnormal ideals and pressures we have instilled in society today. —Karissa Best Proud feminist, mother and woman who stands for EQUAL rights of both men and women.

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For more articles by Karissa, visit her blog.